For The Future

The great thing about the timing of our college exhibition is that it's during pride month, what better time to have my gay pride banners on display? Thinking about ways I can carry this project on and develop it in the future I would like the take these banners to a few gay pride marches. As of now I have plans to go to London pride with a few friends carrying my banners in the march. It is important to me that while college may be coming to an end, I still continue to carry this on as this project is something which has become very close to my heart and has changed the way I think, inspiring me towards a more active approach in raising awareness and celebrating my sexuality.
The responses I've received on my banners have been so inspiring and the chance to carry on this active approach to a more positive world for the LGBT community has me wildly excited! So much work has gone into these banners and I really feel that I have sewn my own gay pride into them.

Talk With Tracey & Pete

Today we discussed the execution of my bed sheet banner plan. Tracey suggested that rather than trying to have five banners up in different places, I could do three to five in one place to ensure that they'll definitely be seen. I could then move these banners to a different town one or two days later and let them travel which would therefore mean they'd be more likely seen and may have a higher impact. While thinking about the making of these banners, Pete suggested I try dying my pieces of fabric and then sewing them together to make the pride flag which creates an alternative to painting. Additionally, we discussed the hanging of these banners, thus far my plan has been to hang them on bamboo however, Pete said this may be unstable and suggested the green propping sticks (I am unsure of their names at this time) you can often buy from garden centres. This has inspired me to take on these suggestions as I feel they will be beneficial to my piece and make for something more 'news worthy'. My idea to tip off a newspaper still stands as I feel that this would increase the audience seeing my works and the point of this piece is very much to get it in the public eye.
In terms of my final display for the exhibition, Tracey has suggested I use the window side of the base room to hang my banners and display my photos and other works (plus a possible news article) as this would be the best area to use as a sort of walk through installation. My aim is to make it seem as though my audience are walking through a gay pride march or something similar with the audio of Ian McKellen talking about his gay history in the background as though he is addressing the people of a gay pride march.
Following the incident where lesbians were attacked in Portsmouth, I feel that now more than ever it is important for me to create loud pride filled work which tells the world we're not going away, hence my plan to put my final piece in the public eye.

Ian McKellen LGBT Talk

Today I had the amazing chance to go and hear Ian McKellen talk about his life growing up gay. I had originally heard about it through my sister who said he was attending her high school to do the talk so I spoke to a few of the teachers and gained myself permission to tag along. Ian spoke about many inspiring things and I created a voice recording of this for my art project. I hope to quote a few pieces he said that I truly connected to such as "you never meet a gay person who regrets coming out" and "you don't get anywhere if you don't stick up for yourself" along with numerous other things from my voice recording. The speech was truly inspirational and I was captivated by Ian's talk of starting Stonewall and how his life improved on coming out. The speech informed me of a different time that I had not experienced, a time when being gay was illegal. I got the chance to hear first hand what it had been like to live through that period of life, I found myself a wild emotional mess the whole way through. To hear such a story from such an influential figure, someone who I would call my 'gay icon', was such an inspiring experience.
I later discussed the speech with my friends and one of them suggested I use the recording as a part of my exhibition. This started a formulation of ideas. I began thinking about how I could copy the talk to a CD and have it playing in my studio space for everyone to hear as they walked through. I'd like my studio space to be a walk through space covered in my final piece banners which would end up having the overall appearance of a pride march - banners everywhere with a passionate talker about gay rights. However, my recording was taken from the back of a large hall and so I am currently sending out emails to find out if anyone else has any clearer recordings. At the moment it seems that my high school tutor has a recording but I will have to wait and find out if he can get permission for me to use it.

Talk With Pete

I spoke to Pete about my idea to get professionally printed banners to hang as a shout of gay pride aimed at the rest of the world and he again reminded me of the ever important presence of connotations. We discussed that a professionally printed banner might imply there is money behind it, that it's a company perhaps. Whereas if I were to go with my original idea of painting on bed sheets then it would be much more as Pete put it "raw and in the grass", in other words I feel it would be more personal were it hand painted. This would make it seem as though an average person painted it for average people to see, quite unlike the idea of a company getting a banner printed. Pete said that the idea of painting on bed sheets reminded him of the birthday messages mothers often hung on roundabouts for their children. Thinking about the idea of that, it is a very warm and kind thing to do for someone, it displays a show of pride in their child and also a certain close feeling. I want to play on these raw feelings of familial pride and create my own community pride, LGBT community pride.

Talk With Nick (about final outcome)

I decided that since I was struggling to plan how I would achieve my idea, it would be best to ask the advice of Nick Andrew, a family friend who is also an artist who's tried similar things.

His initial thoughts were that a double bed sheet would not only be hard to move and display but would also be less likely to be accepted by those in charge of the areas I wished to hang it. He suggested I create a digital work of art which I could get made as a banner. Personally I was not a fan of the idea as I felt it would come far to close the Graphics but then I thought, what if I paint my original idea as planned but on a sturdier surface which I could then photograph and get printed onto a banner? This would be easier to hang and have a more professional finish. Rather than making several, I could make one which I could hang in various places throughout a certain amount of time (maybe a week?).
Medium: paint, stamp
Size: unsure, A1 or bigger? Custom size
Slogan: we're here, we're queer? Love is not a choice?
Imagery: own gender symbol? Toilet gender symbols? 

Final Outcome Idea?

Thinking back to when Pete quizzed me on my audience for this project and the kinds of places I could see my art, I began to create some wild and exciting ideas for an outcome to all this work.
We had been discussing that as my aim was to portray pride and make a statement of not going away, my work, were it on display, would certainly not be hidden in small rooms or spaces, it would be something that needs to be out in public. This got me thinking about what kinds of places.
While he may not have meant for me to take it quite so literally, I began thinking about how I could make this happen.
What if I were to hang in places where it would clearly be seen to put across a clear message using the slogans I have created so far? Perhaps a supermarket such as Waitrose would allow me to hang it up outside their store as they are already known supporters of gay pride and equality? This is a place where thousands of people exit and enter all day daily so think about how many people would see it there? Or in a town centre monument such as the clock tower in Mere? Many people use Shaftesbury's large roundabout to leave large birthday messages so maybe I could hang it there? With so many people driving there all day it wouldn't go unnoticed. Popular landmarks such as Gold Hill? A place with a large number of youths such as Salisbury College?
I would have to ask permission of places such as Waitrose and Salisbury college but places such as Shaftesbury roundabout would be fine without consent as it's done often. It is important that I come up with a list of areas I can place my art without consent just in case places such as Waitrose or Salisbury college do not allow it.
An interesting idea to further put across my loud message of pride would be to tip off some newspapers about the wild gay pride artworks which appeared over night or over the week depending on how the planning process goes. This would get some hype going and make my message louder.

Talk With Pete

Looking back on all the conversations I have had with Pete I began thinking about how I could out to use his advice. While it is late in my project to be realising that he was right, it is always important to admit when you were wrong and so on approach to our next upcoming conversation I thought about what he said about Gerard Richters work and its connotations. He asked me to think about what the harsh, destructive brush strokes of Richter would imply about the message I was putting across. I created a research page on this and tried creating my own works, instantly I could see through my own creation that this was putting across feelings of anger and confusion. The following conversation I had with Pete was mainly me talking about how I had realised I needed to take a step back from my work and explore what came before my own pride, the making of my pride so to speak. I began creating pieces of work which clearly expressed my feelings before my own coming out. Clear thoughts I remember thinking such as "am I allowed to look at her like that?", "is this okay?". I am also digging deep into one of my other blogs, an online journal so to speak, where I expressed most of my thoughts and confusion about always keeping boys at arms length and why the heck I couldn't take part in a heterosexual relationship without feeling wildly uncomfortable. To me this is wildly personal but hugely important in expressing my own original feelings building up to who I am today. This will then lead up to some big pieces of work expressing the gay pride I now feel after discovering who I am.